The Wolverine State's Blog
by Ariel Leilani
Summary: Hey guys! It's the Wolverine State. Everyone has one of these things, so I figured I would try it out. Send in dares, question, or just have a chat with me and my co-host Ohio. (I'll be making a little side story about a few of the states and a wild Halloween party. Updates will be explained in the summary she they occur.) R&R!
1. It's Teen Wolverine and The Buccaneer

Hey guys! Michigan here. Your favorite mitten shaped state! I figured, SC and Tex had one as well as Georgia and Yorkie Terrier so I figured what the hell. Ohio and I will be doing this together...sadly.. Daddy dearest said we needed to bond or whatever.

(It sucks having to be around her. I truly hate her with all my heart)

Shut up Teddy...

(I told you not to call me that! It's either Theodore or Theo. Not Teddy.)

But I like calling you Teddy. It suits you.

(The fuck? What's that supposed to mean?)

It means nothing Teddy. Anyway! Send in dares, questions, chat with me and the Buccaneer if you'd like. Well keep it funny, just for you guys!

(By funny, she means like we always act.)

Exactly! Now while me and him wait for some messages, we'll discuss Toledo... *grins evily*

(No! I won it fair in square, you sore loser!)

I was to young to even understand the situation! You do realize you're way older than me right?

(I would've won anyway.)

*Thug Mode* You wanna go? Cuz we can go right now bro. RIGHT NOW.

(Bring it on woman! Bring. It. On.)

**A/N: So I figured I'd try this out. I hope you all enjoyed the mini commentary from Michigan and Ohio. I love their banter and rivalry so I figured this would be a good pair up. Oh, and before I go let me give you a mini description of Michigan and Ohio...**

**Josephine (Jones) Abbott **

**Physical Age: 24 **

**Actual Age: 176**

**Likes: Hawaii, Wisconsin, Indiana, Minnesota, Canada, New York, South and North Carolina, driving, watching sports with Ohio, partying with the Midwestern states, messing with Texas, attempting to kill Iggy and Frog Face**

**Dislikes: Ohio, England, France, Massachusetts (Masshole has a certain governor or something that has pissed her off), losing, when any of the states are upset (even the hated)**

**Personality: She's kinda bipolar (the U.P and L.P). She can be really nice and really mean in the same second. Even though she may not show it, she loves all the states (even...Ohio... especially Ohio). They really feed off of each other, as well as the other Midwestern states. They all feel closer (literally and hypothetically) to each other than they do with the rest of the states.**

**-lines-**

**Theodore 'Teddy' Jones (sometimes goes by Overton)**

**Physical Age: 27 **

**Actual Age: 210**

**Likes: The Midwestern states, watching sports with Michigan, pranking with Texas, messing with Delaware, New Hampsire, and Masahole, fighting with Michigan**

**Dislikes: Michigan, Michigan, and Michigan**

**Personality: He's extremely funny and loves to have fun. He likes being in charge and beating Michigan, whether in sports or literally (He lets her win so she doesn't feel bad and/or so he can leave). He and Minnesota and/or Wisconsin usually mess with Indiana and Michigan for kicks. Whenever Indiana comes around they pretend to be commentators in the Indy 500.**


	2. BITCHASSNESS

_**Massachusetts and Admin (Katie):**_

_**Even Michigan doesn't like...  
((Don't worry Massachusetts, Ohio likes you!))  
Wow, what a change. Usually everyone hates me... what did I do, anyways?  
((I dunno, you're just unlikable.))  
Hey! I should call you admin instead of Katie.  
((No! I hate the title admin!))**_

Well, Masshole. I'll tell you why I hate you. Welcome more some bitch who loves on (in?) you. He said that we should blow up Detroit. That is all I'm gonna say.

(Damn, not even I would say that...)

Plus your irritating.

(Not a lie)

-lines-

South and North Carolina:

SC: Hey y'all!

NC: I've been kidnapped by a mentally insecure criminal.

SC: *glares at North*

NC: What? You are in the top 10 for violence.

SC: *breaks into Southern accent*JUST CUZ MY DADBURN STATE IS IN THE FUCKIN' TOP 10 DOESN' MEAN I'M THA VIOLENT, YA ASS!*kicks him in the face*

NC: *cassually ducks like it's an everyday occurrence, because it is*

SC: *acts like nothing just happened*I think it's cool that I inspired two people to make a blog

NC: I thinks blogs are just bothersome burdens that you have to worry about updating.

SC: SAY IT AGAIN ASSHOLE!

NC: Go eat shit.

SC: Go fuck a squirrel.

NC: Shut the hell up.

SC: Today in SC history we watched 'Nightmare at Jamestown' and I have to do a report on Masshole. IN SC HISTORY!

NC: You guys ever watched 'Nightmare at Jamestown'? We forced Virginia to watch it and we nearly got our hands cut off.

SC: I'm glad the surgeon was able to sew my finger back on.

Bye

I know the feeling South. How do you think I feel?

(Same here.)

Gosh, you guys fight more than we do, huh?

(And that's saying something.)

And I haven't seen it. I don't wanna see it either. That bitch Masshole...

(Oookay well that will be all for now. Teen Wolverine is gonna go insane.)

SHUT UP

**A/N: Sorry about North and South's review, STUPID mobile stuff won't let me bold it -_- And if you saw chap. 2 SOMEBODY *cough* my bff *cough* put the wrong chapter in. That was a message to another person on a different story. -_-**


	3. Procrastinating with Fuckeye

Oh, yeah... This just reminded me of something I have to do.

*sings "Hail to the Victors" loudly*

If I sing that on Saturday (today), there is a 97% chance that the University of Michigan will win their football game that day, so I hope you understand, Fuckeye.

- Someone in Roseville, Michigan

.

.

.

Hell Yeah!

(Well I see how this shit is.)

It's on like Donkey Kong.

(Oh it's been on. You're just late to the party.)

Heh, fuckeye... I like that.

(Shut up.)

.

.

.

Hey, mom? What division are we in now in the NHL? This whole restructuring of the Conferences has me confused, and all I know is that we're in the Eastern Conference now.

Also, you still owe me some money that could've prevented bankruptcy.

- Henry Ford Jones, a.k.a. Detroit, Michigan

P.S.: Liar, liar, vest on fire.

.

.

.

Sweetheart, I honestly don't know. You should ask Grandpa Al or Grandpa Mattie.

(You do know. You just are too lazy to type it in.)

Nu-uh. I really don't know because I forgot to check.

(Procrastination. Pure procrastination.)

I don't procrastinate.

(Where's Detroit's money?)

... Whatever.

.

.

.

I was wondering about that racist comment...  
((Wait, Mass. You wanted to blow up Detroit?))  
No! One person's opinion doesn't influence mine!  
((Is Mass really that annoying? I like to think he's similar to me.))  
Well, Katie, you're irritating.  
((Hey!))  
Wait, what does 'welcome more some bitch who loves on (in?) you' mean?

.

.

.

Jesus. Nevada and his illiterate ass. Why did you let him touch my document?

(So you'd look stupid...)

What I originally put was Well, some bitch who lives on (in?) you.

(Haha. You looked stupid.)

Anyway, good. The mayor of Boston needs to suck a nut and get lost.

(And the ghettoness begins.)

Shut the fuck up.

(Isn't that nice..)

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**Sorry for my MAJOR typo chain, I'm blaming Nevada. Stupid kindle. Stupid auto correct. This is hard doing this mobile so bare with me.**


	4. Oral Obsession

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.

.

Stupid auto correct.

*WTF?*

How can anything Auto-related be stupid? Autos built you to where you are now, Mom, and don't you ever forget that!

Where would you be without my cars, trucks, vans and SUVs? You'd probably belong to that damn Commie by now if it wasn't for me and my Assembly Line!

Go choke on your Honda plant, Ohio, and stop helping Japan kill my economy.

Why'd you set that river on fire, anyway?

- Henry F. Jones, a.k.a. Detroit, Michigan

P.S.: Thank you for backing me up on the money, Ohio, but it's only $200 million and I owe over $40 billion... DAMN YOU KWAME!

P.P.S.: Have any of us personifications wanted to kill our bosses before?

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.

.

There's a difference between Automobiles and Auto-Correct sweetheart.

(Education must be stale in Michigan)

Bitch please, education is slate everywhere in America.

(Not a lie... Well excluding the prestigious High Schools and colleges...)

That son of a bitch Kwame. I hope he drops the soap ever damn day. EVERY DAMN DAY.

(Yeah you're ri- Wait, CHOKE ON MY HONDA PLANT? What the hell Henry?! I thought we were cool man!)

He's my little baby boy of course he doesn't like you. No one likes you.

(That's not true! Massie likes me...)

By default.

Shut up.

Yes Detroit, we always want to kill our boss. I've wanted to kill England and France for the longest.

(She's not lying...)

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.

.

Massachusetts and Katie:

I... didn't?  
((You didn't look stupid, just like you were using sufficiency... automotive... AUTOCORRECT, GOD D***IT! I hate mobile devices...))  
So, one girl in me is stupid. Wait, what about the mayor!?  
((Do we even have a mayor in Boston? I thought the election was still going...))  
I don't think I've ever been in a ghetto before- oh, wait. Sorry. Worcester.  
((Did you spell that right? It's pronounced Woos-ter...))  
Yeah. And it's pronounced Wor-chester!  
((Oh God, this again...))

.

.

.

The ghetto can be fun when you know people.

(O..K?)

I'm serious. It's a lot more fun when you know people. You don't get shot as much as you usually would, you get in on all the good parties and the drugs.

(You still do drugs?)

No. I'm talking about back in the 70s when we would all get stoned in Wisconsin.

(Yeah. That 70s Show was based of Me, Michigan, Wisconsin, Indiana, Illinois, and Minnesota.)

True. Those were the days.

(You have an oral obsession)

Excuse me?

(I mean, you've always had some type of addiction involving your mouth.)

What are you trying to say?

(I mean from 1920 to 1999 you smoked. From cigarettes to cigars to weed and then no more.)

You know this because...?

(I notice things.)

Ha. You watched me smoke, didn't you.

(W-well yeah. You always blew the shit in my face.)

You thought it was hot, didn't you?

(SHUT UP.)

.

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**A/N: WOOP WOOP! MY LAPTOP IS FIXED! I can finally write that Halloween special for Michigan, Ohio, South Carolina, Nevada, Massachusetts, New York and Texas! It will be posted on Halloween so be prepared my pretties. I'll be prepping my rough drafts for the day. I hope you all are enjoying this. It means a lot that Katie-Kat and AmeBel Is My Life helped me out with the reviews, as well as the guests. It means so so much. Thanks again everyone :)**


	5. Pepsi vs Coke!

SC: We don't fight that much.

NC: Yeah we do.

SC: I thought I said we don't.

NC: We're even fighting over fighting!

SC: Just shut up asshole.

NC: *sits down on something*

SC: You. Sat. On. My. Hat.

NC: Fuck, not again!

SC: Yesterday I went to my friends house and it was her little sister's b-day. So I shoved my friend and her boyfriend in a closet and threw a white balloon that hadn't been blown up in there.

NC: And then you made out with a stuffed animal(this all really happened).

SC: Nobody needed to know that!

NC: Either of you listened to 'What Does The Fox Say'?

SC: It was interesting, gory, detailed. I hate that song. It's annoying.

NC: I'll be back*leaves then walks back in with a paper*

SC: Is that my math test?

NC: The 58%? And that's with 20 extra credit points.

SC: Shut up and give it back!

NC: And they let you use a calculator.

SC: SHUT UP!

NC: What was that, clamface?

SC: GO FUCKING DIE IN A FUCKING HELLHOLE YA FUCKING ASSHOLE(imagine this on a tv show, it'd be a whole lot of censoring)!

NC: Bye, don't forget to come to my funera-

SC: *stabs him in the foot with a kitchen knife*

**.**

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**.**

You fight more than us.

(Way more than us.)

I mean...way more.

(Are you high?)

No, I told you I quit back in the 70s.

(The year was 1979...)

No shit Sherlock. Anyway, a stuffed animal?

(Maybe she was high...)

Logical conclusion, Sherlock.

(Thank you my dear Watson.)

Deep deep...DEEP down I love Ohio.

(Really? *hopeful look*)

Don't get use to it Bucko.

(Oh shut up Wolverine.)

Anyway, you guys do the craziest shit.

(You really do.)

Remember back in 1963? Those were the days too.

(Yeah... back when everyone was still getting their rights...)

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Massachusetts and Katie:

I...don't know people.

((Uh... I know highschoolers from Pennsylvania... but they probably don't do drugs)

I reckon at least one of them have. I mean, Hunter has.

((.. My darling Canadian has done drugs?))

Um, yeah...

((We will return! Au revoir!))

Well she's gone. I'm not. Um, smoking, huh? And weed? Why would he think that's hot? Isn't that Ohio? As in your brother? I'm more confused than when I hang out with Seborga and I can't figure out what to say- and I've said too much. Um, see ya latah!

**.**

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He thinks it hot because he's infatuated with everything I do.

(Am not!)

April 4, 1963.

(I'll just shut up now.)

Good choice.

(Anyway, drugs aren't good. I mean, they're bad. I just went with it because of the trend.)

You went with it because I did.

(That's not... entirely true...)

Oh yeah. You did it 'cuz you had a crush on Indiana at the time. It was so adorable.

(SHUT. UP.)

Geez, fine. Anyway. In 1963 I was a total greaser chick. I wore pants, dated guys who wore leather jackets-

(It was just like Grease!)

Totally. Ohio was such a geek.

(Was not. I changed in the 60s. That was for like 2 years back in the 50s.)

Huh, I guess you're right.

(South was such a girly girl then.)

A girly girl with a trucker mouth.

(Yeah...)

So you and Seborga huh?

(I still ship Newachusetts.)

Newachusetts?

(New York + Massachusetts = Newachusetts)

Hahaha.

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.

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Georgia:

Ohmygod, how did I not notice you had a blog?  
((Because you're just that anti-social))  
Well okay then... Hiya sis! What's it like up there in the north?  
((I hate the north... It's so cold, and there's too much Pepsi))  
Blech, Pepsi... *shudder* Well, uhm, Do you like Coke or Pepsi more?  
((Here it comes...))  
If you like Pepsi more... *evil giggle* I'll make you spend an entire day with NJ, CA, LA, and Francey-pants. SHOPPING FOR LAWNMOWERS!  
((lawnmowers?))  
YES LAWNMOWERS! They are the one thing those states can never agree on!  
((That's nice... Uhm, What's your favorite Music artist? Is it like... Eminem or something?))  
My universe's Colorado is obsessed with Eminem and Vans... you know, those shoes? Do you like Vans? I think they're comfy...  
((He always calls you stupid, and he also is obsessed with Minecraft... He's so anti-social, It's not even funny.))  
Really? I wish I had a TV show based off the southern states! I would probably be the one constantly fighting with SC... Goddamn our family is messed up.  
((Almost like mine...))  
Oh! A dare! I dare you to fly to England, challenge Iggy to a Beer-Drinking contest, and when he passes out, shave his eyebrows and bring him to America :3  
((You're evil, you know that, right?))  
Yeah, I know...  
Bai!((Buh bye!))

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Georgia! How've you been?

(Hey Georgie, it's Ohio.)

Up here? It's getting cold in Detroit. I mean, really cold. I said up until 12:00 for the Tigers game. It was worth it.

(Sure it was...)

Shut up. Anyway, I hate Pepsi and Coke. I like water. That's all I really drink.

(It's true. She isn't the Great Lakes State for nothing.)

Was that supposed to be some kinda jab?

(Maybe.)

*Sighs* Lawnmowers. I swear to shit.

(I remember that one time where we had to buy a new lawnmower because Wisconsin broke the other one. Me and Minnesota fought about it for hours.)

Yeah it was fucking annoying too. As for musical artist, I do love my man Slim Shady and Big Sean is growing on me.

(I'll admit, Eminem has some skills.)

Yeah, Ohio likes Machine Gun Kelly because he's from Ohio.

(There's nothing wrong with it either. He was born in Texas, you know.)

I didn't say there was, and of course you would know that. He is a douche bag though.

(So is Big Sean.)

Yeah, but my man Sean is engaged to Naya Rivera from Glee.

(So?)

MGK is a douche bag who spits his shots in girls mouths at the club.

(Whatever. He's from Texas.)

Haha. Blame it on the Texan. Anyway I would love to do something to Iggy. LET'S DO THIS SHIT!

Michigan and Ohio: *fly to England to meet Iggy*

Michigan: Hey Iggy. I wanna challenge you to a drinking contest.

Iggy: Are you sure?

Michigan: *She nods and passes him a spiked Brass Monkey, while she gets her own*

Iggy: Brass Monkey?

Ohio: Brass Monkey.

Michigan and Iggy: *both drink the Brass Monkey and Iggy passes out*

Ohio: *shaves his brows and shoves him into a body bag*

Michigan and Ohio: BRASS MONKEY, THAT FUNKY MONKEY. BRASS MONKEY JUNKY, THAT FUNKY MONKEY! *they fly back to the U.S to meet America*

America: WHAT THE HELL? *starts laughing like an idiot*

Michigan and Ohio: You're welcome.

Ohio: *takes pics with America*

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hai its NV your sis how are you ( btw its so ironc the high school here mascot is a wolverine ) she means wendover um dont ask were she came from ok

wendover hi mommy  
NV * sighs * ok im a mom there happy not telling the dad EVER  
wendover daddy is * NV covers wendovers mouth * but mom  
NV no

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... YOU AREN'T THE REAL NEVADA.

(I think she hacked him.)

Haha. Serves that bastard right. I mean, I know the damn dude is illiterate as fuck, but damn.

(What did he do to you?)

He dissed my casinos.

(I see.)

**.**

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**A/N: I just came up with it. I don't know how, but I did. In the Halloween story I'll go into more detail about April 4, 1963 if you're curious about it. I thought it would be a hilarious story. Alright so it will be posted on the 25th and each day a new chapter will be up until Halloween when the last chapter will be up.**

**Guest: Thanks! I'm glad you are looking forward to it. **


	6. East Coast West Coast Hip Hop Rivalry

**((Back from trying to reach Mass's cousin!))  
He wasn't there...  
((I need to reach him the wonders of DARE!))  
Grease, huh?  
((The movie bored the heck outta me...))  
How?! That movie's awesome!  
((Oh! I like geeks!))  
Yeah... Seborga... WAIT, WHAT DID YOU SAY?  
((Newachusetts! Hah!))**

**.**

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**.**

How the hell could Grease bore you?

(That movie is a classic.)

And yeah... he was a semi-attractive geek.

(Shut up. I was hot.)

Ironically, you weren't.

(Ooh, your sarcasm hurts me so.)

Anyway, yeah Newachusetts. It's awesome right?

(I thought so.)

OMGZ, LIKE, GASP. WE LIKE TOTES AGREED ON SOMETHING TEDDY!

(Why are you imitating California's 90s voice?)

Meh, I thought it would be funny.

(It was. The over use of "like" could've been changed)

I'll work on it.

(You do that.)

Hey Mass, I have a question for YOU! How do you feel about New York?

(Do you like New York?)

ARE YOU IN LOVE WITH NEW YORK?

(DOES YOUR LOVE BURN LIKE A THOUSAND SUNS FOR NEW YORK?)

That was more than one question. And I think he's stuck between Yorkie Terrier AND Seborga.

(True dat.)

Anywhore I th-

(Did you just say 'Anywhore'?)

Yes. Like I was sayi-

(Why?)

I don't know. I wanted to. As I was say-

(Why would you want to?)

I. FELT. LIKE. IT. AS I WAS MOTHER FUCKING SAYING, I think Yorkie and I have a very good relationship. We've been a lot closer since the whole 'East Coast West Coast Hip Hop Rivalry.' Our rap is better than yours California. Always remember that. Always.

(YEAH! FIGHT THE INFLUENCE.)

I mean, damn. Y'all the ones who brought the 'All Mah Hoes' and 'Look at my guns' and all the violence into rap. It wasn't call 'The West Coast Influence' for nothing.

(We should go before she flips a switch.)

Yeah...

(SEE YA GUYS!)


	7. Georgia is PISSED!

((Grease didn't speak to me, ok?))  
Anyways... I was lying about New Prussia, he's fine. My thoughts about York? Uh, she's rude and a jerk, but she's probably one of my best friends. She's a great sister, but I don't love her like that! And I'm gay! I don't have a crush on a girl!  
((They've been on dates though.))  
It was a forced date! They threatened us!

**.**

**.**

**.**

Ha. Yeah, I remember that forced date on Valentines Day of 2003.

(Good times.)

*starts singing Good Times theme song*

(The fuck?)

*stops* Sorry. Anywayz, glad to hear New Priss is alright. Any Yorkie isn't rude. She's a bitch. There's a difference.

(A very distinctive difference.)

She can be rude and jerky though.

(I like jerky.)

Me too!

**.**

**.**

**.**

Hi... Michy! *Evil Glare*  
So I heard you were having a... Party... Without me...  
I'M THE FUCKING PARTY STATE OF THE SOUTH! (Aside from, you know, Florida and Louisiana..)  
But still!  
How could you forget about me?  
Wissy told me you were having a partyyyyy  
AHHH I'm going crazy!  
FUCKING HIP-HOP!  
AHHHHH

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**A/N: THE HALLOWEEN STORY IS UP! YESH! Don't worry Georgia, I'll make sure you make a very special appearance. Check out: Halloween in Michigan! on my profile. **


	8. New Jerky

***waves* Hi Mitchy! You're my state! You like Grease? Awesome! I grew up on that! Have any of you seen Rocky Horror Picture Show? Alright,bye!**

**.**

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**.**

*Waves back* Hi! Yeah, I love Grease. It's so awesome.

(Don't say that near Prussia. He'll get all pissy like last time.)

Meh. Rocky Horror Picture Show? Hellz yeah. It was so cool!

(It was weird.)

She wasn't talking to you Teddy.

(Whatever.)

**.**

**.**

**.**

**((... 2003?))**  
** I think they're confusing me with their Massachusetts... but hey! Massachusetts's everywhere are tortured!**  
** ((Yeah, I was relieved too. He was just very tired!))**  
** Hey! He acts high was he's exhausted!**  
** ((York is amazing!))**  
** You're the perfect minion, aren't you Katie? New York isn't a bitch, she's just... annoying some times.**  
** ((Oh! Oh! I... don't like jerky that much, actually.))**

**.**

**.**

**.**

He acts high? AWESOME!

(What the hell is with you today. All the 'awesomes' are becoming illogical.)

Who died and made you Iggy?

(Shut up.)

Anyway, yeah. Yorkie is irritating. I remember this one time she forced me and New Jersey to go on a date. I mean seriously? Who thinks of that?!

(Apparently she does.)

You don't like jerky? That's un-American.

(It really isn't. She just wants to say un-American.)

Yeah, it true.


End file.
